A Long Walk
by Fandoms-For-The-President
Summary: "Wow, you smell," Lucifer says, his lazy grin is wide on his face. Dean hates him, hates him for using his friend's face. He. Is. Not. Castiel. "Let's go for a walk, shall we?" Lucifer suggests, and Dean grunts. Lucifer smirks and suddenly they're in the middle of no-fucking-where.
It's five am on a Tuesday night when Dean finds Lucifer sitting on his bed, playing with the hem of his coat. His -Castiel's- blue, blue _blue_ eyes are fixed on the floor, and he's frowning like he's contemplating something. His face –Castiel's face- turns to him when he enters, eyes lit up with the mischievous light –it's the only way Dean can tell he's not actually Castiel.

"Great, you're here, finally," Lucifer says, his tone so, _so_ different from Castiel. How did Dean not understand before? How can he still _forget_ when Lucifer sounds so different from Castiel? He feels anger and regret boil up in his stomach, yet he swallows his words before he can puke them out. Lucifer stands up and moves towards him, and suddenly Dean feels really self-conscious. He can suddenly smell all the alcohol and the sex smell on himself, and his stomach is making flops. _This is not Castiel,_ he reminds himself. _He can never be._ __

"Wow, you smell," Lucifer says, his lazy grin is wide on his face. Dean hates him, hates him for using his friend's face. He. Is. Not. Castiel.

"Let's go for a walk, shall we?" Lucifer suggests, and Dean grunts. Lucifer smirks and suddenly they're in the middle of no-fucking-where. _Cas used to do this_ , Dean remembers sadly. Next to him, he can practically hear Lucifer grinning.

"I'm sorry it had to be him, you know," he says in a sympathetic voice that Dean all knows too well is fake. "But your brother –"

"You're not doing this," he manages to get out from his teeth. "I don't care. You, you…" He can't finish. He knows he doesn't need to, either. He knows he will be understood nevertheless.

"We need to save the world, Dean. There's no time for your meaningless drama." Castiel's rough hands are tapping, fidgeting; they're caressing Dean's shoulders one second and down the other. They're fucking _everywhere_ , and that's how Dean knows this is not Castiel. Cas wouldn't be like this.

"It's not drama if I have a reason," Dean scowls. "We. Don't. Need. You. So cut the bull."

"You know you need me, Dean," Lucifer says in an octave lower that his normal voice. _He's mimicking Cas,_ Dean realizes with a shock. "You know I am the one for you, just like Sam is the one for -"

"Dream it, pal," Dean says. "You're imagining things."

"Just saying," Lucifer says in an innocent tone. "If you make Sam say _yes_ , then your-"

"Cas is _Cas,_ " Dean hisses. "He's family. I can never feel anything-"

"Yeah, yeah, right. You're a _manly_ man, and you're a Winchester, I get it. But you see, I need Sam. And I need to win this battle. So I'll pass, thanks. Just cut the drama."

"You can't win this."

"I won this once. I can do it aga-"

"Not this time," Dean says in a pained voice. "Not this time, when God is in the middle of nowhere and she's –she's just _strong_. _You_ can't win this, and you know it. You just want to be the one that destroys us."

"Believe or not, I am on your side," Lucifer says in a dark, evil tone; something you couldn't hear from Cas. Intimidating, sure; but not evil. But again, this is not Cas. It's Castiel's hands, Castiel's lips, Castiel's blueblue _blue_ eyes, Castiel's face, Castiel's _body-_

But it's the Devil riding it.

Dean feels sick.

"You're not Cas," he absentmindedly murmurs. "You're Satan. Devil. Morning Star."

"You just got that now?" Lucifer asks, clearly amused. A part of Dean's mind wanders, thinks of all the feelings Lucifer can channel Castiel's voice to, all the feelings he can make him dance in… _No_. Cas is his friend, and this is the Devil.

"Look, because you're _in love_ doesn't mean that you get to throw me out of my body," Lucifer says, and Dean wants to punch him.

"I'm not. In. Love. This is not your body. It's Cas'."

"It's mine now."

"He's still in there." Lucifer makes a fed-up face.

"Ugh, yeah. Tell me about it." He kicks the dirt with Castiel's shoes and dust covers them. "He's all about _you,_ you know. _Dean this_ and _Dean that_ an _d save Dean_ and _you promised-"_

"Shut up. You don't get to…" Dean trails off. He can feel himself getting more and more heavier.

"It's going to kill both of you, you know?" Lucifer hisses on his ear. "You pining for him and being too self-centered to look around and save people, it's going to-"

"Shut _up!"_ Dean yells. "I don't-"

"Oh, stop being a bitch, I know you do!" Lucifer yells back. Dean hears the ravens fly away from a tree somewhere, wondering if this is the end for him. "It's going to kill you, kill him, kill _Sam-_ "

"Don't you dare say his name!" Dean screams. "You dick, don't you-" he feels himself choking. Lucifer's choking him by raising Castiel's hand towards him.

"I tried to be patient, Dean," he growls. "I tried to go easy on you, _Oh the poor kid's in love_ and all that crap. But not anymore." He lets go and grabs Dean's shirt immediately after, pulling him close. Dean tries not to think of Castiel's breath, Castiel's intense eyes gazing on him and Castiel's sinful lips. This is not Cas. This is the Devil.

"Here's what we do," Lucifer says. "I let you off the hook for now, and you leave me alone. I kill Amara, and then you try to kill me. I vaporize you off the surface and let Cas and Sam suffer for the rest of eternity. Understood?" Dean fights the urge to spit on his face, and doesn't reply.

" _Understood?"_ Lucifer asks again, and yanks Dean's arm. Dean falls down on his knees, and looks up to Lucifer. His burning eyes meet Castiel's eyes, which are not the way they should look like. This isn't Cas. This is Lucifer.

Lucifer grins. "Good," he says pleasantly. "I will see you soon." And with that Dean is back in the Bunker.

"Dude, where were you?" Sam asks. Dean urges to tell him everything but keeps his mouth shut. "Coffee," he instead says. "I have a killer hangover." Sam shrugs and pulls him a cup. Dean sighs.

"Sam," he starts. Sam makes a noise that tells him he's listening, and Dean stares onto the ground.

"I'd support anything you do, you know that, right?" he asks. Sam's not facing him, but Dean can see his nod.

"Of course dude," he says. "The same goes to you too." Then he pours the coffee and hands it to Dean, who accepts it silently. Sam frowns.

"Is everything okay?" he asks. Dean gives him a miserable smile, and nods.

"Yeah, he says. Just… Had a long walk." And with that, the conversation's over, and they're back to searching for Amara. Ways to save the world.

Ways to find Castiel's body, so he can be Cas again.


End file.
